missing.

deleated my previous post.
supposed to be d chinese lyrics of a song tat finally caught my attention. (but it came out to be like a mess of vulgarities..)

Yesh, if u hadn't realise, I dun usually catch the lyrcis of any songs unless with a stroke of fate, I've decided to check out d lyrics.
During the past yucky wk, (yesh..so yucky u can imagine d greenish poo of infants) I was becoming claustrophic of my teeny weeny walled-up, non-airconditioned, oppressive, too-small-a-bed, too quiet a room... I had to maintain a certain level of sanity while being trapped with me, book and books. Hence, I started downloading music & sang aloud to myself... to make sure tat, yes indeed I do have a voice. And somehow... I've picked up d habit of having my radio on thru d night, through my sleep.
Assurrance of life.

This is ain't abt loneliness, cuz I love the nights too much. I can live my nights doodling, dreaming, singing, writing, drawing, chatting, walking, eating, watching, dancing, changing, talking, reading, thinking, staring, lying, stoning, smiling... jus doing things in the spur of moment. Follwing my instints, impulsess, desires... no obligations.
Alone =/= Loneliness

But I hate to HAVE to do things..like...having to read, having to write, having to think, having datelines! Having to stay up thru d night with an objective. Actually, I was trapped in my room day & night. "trapped"? It's self-created, self-implemented. There's no diff being now and before. Yet, I'm trapped. I feel so.

Rebellious?
maybe..cuz if no one tells me to, I'll jolly well pick up a social psych TB to read thru d night, happily.
It's cool.

So, now that I HAVE to do it, it seems almost impossible.
I miss my parents, I miss my family.
I miss going out.
I miss playing netball.
I miss having fun.
I miss my frens.
I miss Singapore. (beyond Temasek hall and AS6)
Suddenly, I don't feel so at peace.

I miss my home!!!!
I wanna go home!!!
boo hoo hoo *sobz*

anyway, now tat my damn week is over... I'm being difficult.
I insist in not doing anything.
I refuse to revise and check out my lectures like how I'll normally do.
I'll watch tv, even if alone.
I'll surf aimlessly.
I deserve it.

Cuz I know better..

Anyway, one thing I benefited thru my yucky-poo week.
I love FM933!!!
lovely music... music of life.